Conjoined Fetus Lady
South Park citizens declare a "Conjoined Twin Myslexia Awareness Week" to help the school nurse. The school's dodgeball team goes to the championships with Pip as their star player.
Pip, for once showing some backbone, pops Kyle in the face during a dodgeball game, giving him a bloody nose. Kyle is sent to see Nurse Gollum, who (he is horrified to discover) has a dead conjoined fetus on the side of her head. Apparently she suffers from something called Conjoined Twin Myslexia.
The boys naturally make fun of her hideous condition. Kyle's mom overhears and tries to raise their consciousness, telling them that sometimes a dead twin can be inside a live one, and that any one of them might also have a dead, conjoined sibling somewhere in their bodies. Stan flips out, goes home and tries to hack open his head with an ice pick. Kyle's mom then decides to raise awareness of the condition and champions a "Conjoined Twin Myslexia Week" for Nurse Gollum, who would greatly prefer to remain in relative anonymity.
At the same time the school's dodgeball team wins the state championship -- primarily on the strength of Pip's performance, who becomes a rage-filled, superhuman dodgeball machine whenever anyone mistakes him for being French. Which seems to happen quite a bit. The team goes on to win the national championship, then takes on the international powerhouse, China.
Pip single-handedly wipes out the entire Chinese squad when they, at the prompting of the South Park players, call him French. The kids become world champions, but no one cares because dodgeball sucks.
Back in South Park the town stages a parade for Nurse Gollum. The locals don hats that make them look like they have fetuses on their heads. Nurse Gollum, her patience at an end, tells the crowd that she just wants to be treated normally instead of singled out and coddled for her appearance. For this the adults call her "ungrateful" but the boys seem to think she's smart and cool.
What I Learned Today
"Look, I don't want to be treated different. I don't want to be treated special or treated gingerly. I just want to be ridiculed, shouted at and made fun of like all the rest of you do to each other."
- "Oh. I see you've noticed my disorder. I have a stillborn fetus growth attached to my head." (Nurse Gollum)
- "My mom says there's a lot of black people in China." (Eric Cartman)
- "This may sound odd coming from a woman with a fetus sticking out of her head, but you're all a bunch of freaks!" (Nurse Gollum)
- "Oh, what jolly good fun!" (Pip Pirrup)
- "You shouldn't make fun of foreigners. And besides, I hate French people." (Pip Pirrup)
- "You see, it's NOT okay to make fun of an American because they're black or brown or whatever, but it IS okay to make fun of foreigners because they're from another country." (Chef)
- "Oh my, what an ungrateful bitch." (Principal Victoria about Nurse Gollum)
Nurse Gollum. She has another role in "Roger Ebert Should Lay Off the Fatty Foods".
Butters is only seen, where he is referred to as "Swanson." He doesn't get to talk until "Roger Ebert Should Lay Off the Fatty Foods" and doesn't have a major role until "Two Guys Naked in a Hot Tub".
The black-haired kid Kevin Stoley (referred to as Casey in "An Elephant Makes Love to a Pig") makes his speaking debut.
Kenny, killed by a dodgeball thrown with too much mustard during the match against China.
Several other competing children fall under the gun of an angry, dodgeball-hurling Pip. Also a Washington, D.C. tourist run over by Ms. Crabtree's bus.
There's two little snippets of songs: Chef's "Whooped Yo Ass", which he sings after beating the Denver team, as well as the Neil Diamond-esque piano ballad "Dead Fetus on Your Head" which plays over the Nurse Gollum tribute video.
Behind The Scenes
Pop Culture References
Cartman's taunt, "So, Captain Ahab has to get his whale, huh?" is a Moby Dick reference skimmed from Star Trek: First Contact.
A golden version of the titular superhero from Trey and Matt's Orgazmo is featured on top of the World Champion dodgeball trophy. It can also be seen on Kathie Lee Gifford's trophy to Cartman in “Weight Gain 4000". The superhero is a frequently used easter egg throughout the show.
The Nurse's surname Gollum is the name of the creepy monster-like character from J.R.R. Tolkien's Lord of the Rings. Also, "golem" is a Yiddish term referring to "an animate being created out of inanimate matter".
When Kyle's mom shows the boys a picture of conjoined twins from a book called Freaks A-Z, it's really a picture of Mickey Dolenz and Michael Nesmith from The Monkees.
- The boys travel to their various dodgeball matches via Mrs. Crabtree's bus, even to the one in China.
- The newspaper Kyle's dad is reading at breakfast has a section on it called "Priests & Kids".
- During the scene where Chef is speaking to the dodgeball team, a poster can be seen with a Visitor outline playing tennis.
- Kenny wears the number 69 on his jersey, in reference to the sex position. Cartman wears the number 325, the biggest number on the team in reference to his weight.
- The calligraphy scrolls hanging in the Chinese training gym read "操你老妈" ("fuck you mom"), "野种" ("bastard") and "她妈的" ("her mom's").
- e1 Terrance and Phillip in Not Without My Anus
- e2 Cartman's Mom Is Still a Dirty Slut
- e3 Chickenlover
- e4 Ike's Wee Wee
- e5 Conjoined Fetus Lady
- e6 The Mexican Staring Frog of Southern Sri Lanka
- e7 City on the Edge of Forever (Flashbacks)
- e8 Summer Sucks
- e9 Chef's Chocolate Salty Balls
- e10 Chickenpox
- e11 Roger Ebert Should Lay Off the Fatty Foods
- e12 Clubhouses
- e13 Cow Days
- e14 Chef Aid
- e12 Spookyfish
- e13 Merry Christmas Charlie Manson!
- e14 Gnomes
- e15 Prehistoric Ice Man